It’s 6am and I’m at Mickey Ds; Why’s Everybody Here Staring at Me!

by Nick on June 30, 2013

Please note that the title to this post must be read as a rap.  And out loud.  If you didn’t please stop reading and go back and do it.  And please also “tweakle” when you say “why’s,” growl when you say “here” and fist pump in the air when you say “me.”  What does tweakle mean you ask?  I have no idea.  I made it up.  It is sort of a combo of twinkle and sparkle with a random “e” thrown in there because it’s my third favorite vowel.

Bonus points if you actually say it in a McDonalds at 6am and don’t get arrested.  If you do get arrested you’re on your own.  I hereby officially renounce all responsibility for anything that happens to you as a result of any of this.  This includes the inevitable kick to your fancy parts if you decide it’s a good idea to wake up your wife with this rap.  She will hit you.  It will hurt.  And you will likely be done having children with her (because she will not want to make more of you and the physical trauma).

OK – are you back?  Great!   Wassup “don’t call me a mall dwellers?!?!?!”

Just chillin’ at a Mickey Dees like all the rich folks do on a Sunday morning in the six o’clock hour!   That’s right – wanna be rich, do what rich people do.  Yep – nothin beats free wifi, “dollah coafeee” and plugs at every table.  I think Warren Buffett just left as I was walkin in!  Damn it Buffett, why do you have to beat me every time!  I still haven’t forgiven you for out bidding me for GEICO!  Who would have thought they preferred billions of dollars over being my best friend forever.  I’ll get you next time!

Well, I haven’t actually checked the balance sheet of the folks sharing the room with me.  Is that sort of thing frowned upon?  Only one way to find out… (but because I need the free wifi because I’m the the only moron who has work to do at this hour, I think that question will need to go unanswered today…).

 wait!!!! there’s a point!

Yeah, everyone’s staring at me here at Mickey D’s.  It might be because every other person looks like they’re fifty or more years older than me and they’re wondering what the strange device I’m typing on is… It might be because my half-beard is pretty impressive and my “did you get that in a 3pak” white t-shirt is blinding them (yes.  yes I did get it in a 3pak… thank you very much).

But I’m hustling.  I’m getting work done.  I’ve been up since 4:30 doing things for me and banging out some homework from the office to get ahead and still enjoy time with my family.  I shifted my priorities from late night TV and stealing time from my family to shifting as much as I can to the early mornings while they sleep so I can enjoy time with them until the kids are asleep and my wife settles in with some “her” time books or TV shows.

Yes – it turns out my effed up schedule was holding the whole family back.  Now I’m at Mickey D’s at 6 in the  morning getting things done.  They can stare as much as they want.  Yes, my age begins with a 3.  This, sir, is called a lap top.  I realize it’s not on my lap, but they still call it a lap top.  If they called it a table top it would be fun to say, but no one would know what they were talking about because the term table top was already used to describe several things.  Just google it.  I don’t have time to explain what google it means.

And, yes, I did get this shirt in a 3pak.

What were you doing at 4:30 a.m. today?  (Please be family friendly, unless of course what you were doing was not family friendly.  Then please just say “it wasn’t family friendly.”)  Try hustling tomorrow morning.  It is amazing how awesome it makes the rest of the day after spending 2 or 3 hours when you first wake up being productive!

No time for spell check.  Back to hustling.

Until next time…

EDIT: I lied to you when I said I wouldn’t spell check.  When I hit “publish” I noticed that instead of Warren Buffett, I wrote Warren Buffet, his slightly less famous but incredibly more delicious relative.  So I made that one change.  Don’t worry, I didn’t spell check the rest.  Damn it Warren, you got me again!!!

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

krantcents June 30, 2013 at 2:21 pm

I am an early riser, but I was sleeping at 4:20 AM. I usually get a lot done early in the morning. It is a great feeling to accomplish it a lot early because that good feeling spreads through everything for the rest of the day.


Nick July 1, 2013 at 2:18 pm

Very cool. I love being an early riser. My problem is that I want to do more and more and wake up earlier and earlier. I need to stop at some point or else I’m going to be going to sleep at 6pm and waking up at 2am!


J$ July 29, 2013 at 2:45 pm

haha…. you crack me up, son. I rock clean white tees from a 3pak too – represent!


Nick August 16, 2013 at 7:32 am

Thanks J$! Nothing beats a 3pak… except, of course, a 5pak….


Brian August 20, 2013 at 7:24 pm

Great post. I found out about your blog through J. Money and his blog.
I am going to check out more of your work. Thanks for the laughs too.

I used to rock the 5 for $20 white tees, but after I hit 30 I started going the Hanes tagless route. I imagine when if I live to 40 I will graduate to the pocket tees like my Dad wears.

Thanks again,



Nick August 24, 2013 at 12:18 pm

Thanks Brian! I definitely have some fun around here and glad you found me through J$. And with a bunch of lifestyle changes I’ve been making lately, I’m getting way more “me time” than I used to have and feel much more open and available to blog! So thank you for the encouragement and checking in here!

Love the 5paks! Ha! My Dad rocks the pocket tees too!


Dawn Dolison August 16, 2013 at 1:56 pm

This post is hilarious! Yes, I did say the rap out loud, but it was in the bathroom at work. I’m trying to become an early riser. I’m trying to wake up around 5am. I used to be a night owl. I can stay up until 2 am daily. With having kids, you don’t have a choice. I have two toddlers who are early risers. They love to show me the pretty pictures they made on the walls while I was sleep. Sigh, so now I’m trying to wake up before them.


Nick August 19, 2013 at 7:57 am

Thanks Dawn! I was too and it’s tough to get up early. I’ve started going to bed really early, which is odd for me, too. I bartended for 6 years, so going to bed before 4am was really strange. Then I started my day gig and still was up until midnight. Now when the kids are in bed, I spend a little time with my wife and then go to bed most nights by 10!

Good luck!


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